In honor of the 3rd complete decade and 1 month of Shark Week (a completely guessed and therefore inaccurate, but probably not-that-far-off estimate), I have decided to compose the third installment of this cliffhanger of a trilogy...this Stalone-esque symphony I have had in the works. This topic has perplexed me for a while. A "rogue shark" comes into a beach town, attacks a few tourists, then disappears. The idea of a "rogue shark" is absolute bull shark (boom). The idea that a careless, juvenile, rough-and-tumble drifter-shark moves about from sandbar to sandbar to simply muck-up the water and leave all of the well-behaving' local meniscus-cutters in their wake has been projected as scientific truth by big beach town for decades. BBT has always known that sharks, rays, dolphins, and whales are undistinguishing and merciless killers, but nonetheless a part of their ecosystems. The best way to combat the economical damage these dorsal-finned-destroyers inflict: scapegoat the most fearsome-looking (the one with the teeth).
So, now BBT has managed to subversively alienate and demonize an entire race...err species of fish. But, in this time of rampant and reverent political correctness, they cannot be speciesests. They must find the individuals with which to place blame. Enter: "rogue shark." Think of this rs as an uninvited guest to a party...[insert drawn-out parallel to annoying and invasive stranger who makes people think twice about coming to another party you throw, but you assure them that "it's cool" and "they won't be back"] blah. I wish I could believe that it is a shark that "is just passing through" and "just decided to eat a human being during peak tourism season." All lies.
Truth: Lots of splashing from lots of tourists in salt water = increased number of people being eaten by the local shark population.
Suck on that, marine biology establishment.
No comments:
Post a Comment